Have I actually Grown at all?
Just an update from me again, I know there are a few people who I haven't seen (note spoken to on dA for a while) and while I want to move on from what has happened to me, sometimes that isn't possible.
So far I have actually, gotten a new laptop, which while not what I want, is actually worth 
making a note of because I can now do digital art which is a step into the right direction, and means that I might acutally be a bit more active on dA now (go me!) before I get into the fact that I will most likely be moving again and with a new start for me...
Yes I am slowly getting back up from the down, but it's still a long way for me to go.
So now it's time for me to pick myself up and move forwards I guess.
Yup, I'm back.
Okay, there's a lot to unpack but for now I'll start with the very basic update.
For those who may or may not remember I was in a situation where I had to move back home with my parents due to not being able to afford a place of my own and the downwards spiral of my mental health, which lead to me withdrawing from dA and just online presence in general as I tried to pull myself together and get my health back into line.
Of course this was entirely behind the scenes and I did a few Fire Emblem Heroes posts in the meantime to at least keep my account somewhat active, but I do apologise for those who wanted updates to the stories I was working on at the time, I am truly sorry that I couldn't get myself into the mental space I needed to be in for those updates to happen.
That said, I realise now that life has a way of changing and twisting in ways that I never intended and for that, I really shouldn't have been so blindsided like I was.
So after I spent time at my parents I slowly started to succum to my more toxic tendancies that let's be real is why I stopped, because Mum's situation was pulling me down mentally, due to her treating me like a child and acting like I was hers to control as she wanted, even though the more natural side of me wanted to fight back, I was and am...
Just fucking tired.
If not for the shit she and Dad combined tried and have tried to pull on me because I got out from there before she did (and honestly hearing her constant talk of how no one gave a shit about her, like fucking excuse me you stupid bitch I fucking care about you but you made me worse the more time I spent around until I couldn't anymore) because the suicidal bullshit she was saying on the side just...
Broke me.
NGL it really broke me.
I literally felt like I was her unpaid psychologist by this stage and even now, I just loose out no thanks to her.
In the end I took a live-in job and well...
That really upset her apple cart.
Because apparently she decided that she could make whatever decisions for me and not me making choices for myself.
We obviously had an argument and it esculated very quickly to the point where she hit me and I ended up going to the police and getting an AVO on my own mother because she felt it was a great idea to just whale on me. No bruising, which I consider myself lucky but I was self-harming so, there's that to add confusion to how lightly I got off.
Now I never like to be in a position where I'm forced to act in self defense and I will not repeat the bullshit she spouted, because I really want to move past it.
Suffice to say I am in a safe place now, with my three cats and that to me is all that matters.
Yes I had to give up my books (and no I am not happy about that because that's my Claymore and Yu-Gi-Oh! manga collections, the Harry Potter books and a few others gone for good now), yes I had to give other things up but in the end...
I've had worse happen.
So yeah, I'm venting.
That said I think this is probably natural when you come out of a surprisingly toxic situation.
Anyway, sorry for such a heavy entry, this was necessary and I think a conversation that needs to be had, because it's important for anyone in a situation like mine to know that you need to focus on yourself first and foremost.
If you have to leave where you are, go.
Don't hold yourself back. Even if it might cost you, your life is precious and you need to protect it.
I hopefully will get together some kind of schedual together and might post art again, so don't worry I'm back this time and with some time maybe things will settle down.
Warning Steam scam active
Hey guys Chloey here with a warning, please make sure that this reaches all over dA especially to the steam users out there:
This is not a joke this a real thing that you all need to be aware of and need to make sure that you do not fall for this one.
Scammers are fucking skum that deserve to be shot. I don't care if you're desperate, it's plain fucking wrong and you should never do it as you are going to get very bad karma.
Sorry I had to post this, hopfully I will have better news.
26/04/2020
Covid 19.
Funny how something as simple as that one thing is capable of completely ruining peoples lives, no thanks to the idiots who let it out and lied about it. Sorry to those who were looking for something else, hoping to see me more active on dA for good reasons. It's been a while and I've been trying to get myself back on track...and failing in the process unfortunately.
I can't say I'm surprised to be honest.
With everything at an all time low I suppose this forced social isolation is just another reason why I'm fine. I wasn't anything of a socialite to begin with so why start that now? If ever there was a reason to keep away, this is one of those. A stupid virus with very stupid people. Obvious results are obvious...